A Blue and Cold Sweat

Exercise number 1

Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Slowly. Actually do it. Close your eyes and count to five. Have your hands stopped shaking? If not, repeat exercise one, otherwise continue on.

Exercise number 2

Wiggle your toes. Hold your hand out at arms length, spread your fingers apart. Count them. Slap your cheek with an open palm. Can you feel your extremities? Are your faculties in check? If so your probably ready.

Say with me slowly: The Blue Bombers lost the Banjo Bowl 45 to 23. It's ooooh kay.

I am ready to internalize Sunday afternoon too. As a lifelong Bomber fan, I have developed a coping mechanism for disappointment. Block all thoughts of the game from your head. I remember driving to the game, I remember parking. The lady that scanned my ticket at the east side entrance said “go bombers go.” I walked to my seat and sat down. That's it, that's all I remember. My next memory is at home, laying in the fetal position on my bed, sweating, in my royal blue Bomber jersey. I know what you're thinking, and no, I hadn't been drinking, thank you very much. I was surviving.

Next I remind myself about past failures, then I internally measure up the most current failure with past gut-wrenching ineptitudes. I relive the 2001 Grey Cup, where Troy Westwood missed 63 field goals and the Bombers lost to Calgary by one point. That was bad. I play back the 2007 Eastern Final when Kevin Glenn inexplicably forgot how to preform a hand-off, on THREE separate occasions before the final flub caused his puny arm to snap, which caused my dream of finally witnessing the Bombers hoisting the Grey Cup to snap right along with it. Finally, rounding out my insta-pain trifecta I remember the 2008 Banjo Bowl, where the Bombers were outscored 376 to 10 and then head coach Mike Kelly smirked on from the sideline, relishing in his brilliance. If the current failure is not as bad as any of those three, well then I can be sure the sun will come up tomorrow.

It just so happens, that that's exactly where the current Banjo Bowl defeat fits in: near the bottom of a long line of disappointment. No one said being a Bomber fan was going to be easy, but if you follow the block out and then rationalize strategy detailed above you should manage to keep yourself sane.

Speaking of above, one thing that might keep you going is the knowledge that we are still first in the CFL. That's right, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers are still Canada's best team. Record-wise anyway.

Buck Pierce is loved because he is tough and Winnipeg Blue Bomber fans can see themselves in him. We have been knocked down, embarrassed, injured, doubted, laughed at, and told to give up. We have been sneered at, looked down upon, crushed, and been labeled no good. But just like Buck Pierce, us Bomber fans have endured. We are stronger now than ever. We will get up off the canvas like we have done so many times before: we will prevail, not to prove the doubters wrong, but to prove us right.

SWAG ON Winnipeg.

PS - The Winnipeg Jets are still undefeated. Jus' sayin'.